Scientists at Shanghai Jiaotong University have discovered that the popular golden cats known as Maneki Neko could provide an environmentally-friendly solution to the city's power supplies problems. The beckoning golden cats can be seen in many shop windows and houses around the city, and are reputed to bring wealth to their owners.

Charlie Coloumb, who is leading the international team at Jiaotong University, explained to our reporter that the magic flapping arm of the cats could be used to generate electricity. "We are unsure exactly how the cats manage to keep their arms flapping up and down, up and down, 24 hour a day: but when we observed this, we were confident we could harness the motion as a power source."

The scientists hope to create a network of up to 10,000 Maneki Neko cats to power the city. An enormous cat is also under construction in Minhang District, and is expected to be completed before the 2010 World Expo.

A magnetic levitation railway between Shanghai and Hangzhou will see giant cats replacing trains in an attempt to cut costs. The maglev project has been in the works for a decade, with an estimated price tag of 35 billion RMB, but was shelved earlier this year after environmental and cost concerns.

It is thought that using 15-tonne genetically modified cats is likely to ease the fears of environmental protestors, while also reducing the cost to a whisker under 20 billion RMB.

The first cat, nicknamed Chairman Miao, is likely to begin operation in 2011.


©上海杭州大猫磁浮交通发展有限公司 (image copyright Shanghai-Hangzhou Large Feline Maglev Transportation Development Co., Ltd.)

After numerous reports of UFOs spotted in the Shanghai skies, today Shangzilla started to receive reports about strange looking alien creatures walking among pedestrians in the busiest streets of the city. They unsuccessfully try to disguise themselves as humans, but do not be fooled by anyone looking like a person with an eye-ball-head.

Be vigilant and do not come in contact with the creatures. After all their intentions are still unknown to us.

In the opening days of the 787,291st session of the United Natures General Assembly, Fall made an impassioned plea for action against Summer's "extended and repeated expansion into Fall Territory".

"Fellow natures, these acts of geometeorological aggression cannot be ignored by the internatural community," declared Colored Leaves, Fall's delegate. "Summer has now pushed its high temperatures even past the traditional Mid-Autumn Festival, well into October. This unlawful occupation of such a large portion of Fall threatens the stability of the entire globe."

Summer defended its actions in a heated response. Stated Summer delegate Muggy Air, "There has never been an officially recognized border between our neighboring natures. A healthy intermixture of warm and balmy days has been a hallmark of our interaction."

The Weather Committee has been reviewing the evidence in a series of closed-system discussions led by ranking delegate Cirrus Cloud of Troposphere. An unnamed attendee of the talks reported that the Committee is highly concerned about the involvement of rogue natures. "What we really need to know is, is Summer directly collaborating with and receiving aid from Global Warming and its cohorts, or are they independent actors?"

Fall also continues to make appeals for aid and assistance to the United Strata of Atmosphere. "With its vast resources, Atmosphere could easily assist us with additional trade wind support or more frequent cold fronts." USA had no comment on the matter.

In Shanghai - the inspiration for Matt Groening's Futurama - it's common to see unidentified flying objects in the sky. Shangzilla doesn't normally bother getting out of bed to report these stories. The Shanghai Daily are equally bored, recently reporting "UFOs spotted in Shanghai's night sky again."


When the international media gets hold of it, like in 1999, the story gets blown out of all proportion, until the articles sink deep into the collective subconsciousness of the internet's UFOology websites with their dead links.

So why do we and other representatives of the Shanghai media bother to write about our fellow aliens' forms of transportation? To get us more international readers? No. To sell UFO pictures to the western media for high prices? No.


The sensational aspect for us, that is captured in all three of these pictures, is: Shanghai had a clear sky! Yes, there it is. Our breaking news: believe it or not, it happened in 1942, 1999, and 2007.

Here you find the clear smogless sky, and of course, one of them damn UFOs had to fly right into it, spoiling our beautiful evidence picture.