Shanghai has been named as Asia's gayest city, according to an info-graphic prepared by Shangzilla intern Bobi Chan.

"Lots of consulting companies bring out dubiously researched surveys naming Shanghai as the 14th most expensive city to live in, or the 3rd most polluted" commented the enthusiastic Chen. "I also don't have any real data, but I did make a cool-looking graphic to back up my story! I also found some cool clipart to illustrate it!"

Chen, who lists "familiarity with Word and Excel software" amongst the many skills on her CV, says she has no plans to come out, although she is planning on visiting Tashkent.

A magnetic levitation railway between Shanghai and Hangzhou will see giant cats replacing trains in an attempt to cut costs. The maglev project has been in the works for a decade, with an estimated price tag of 35 billion RMB, but was shelved earlier this year after environmental and cost concerns.

It is thought that using 15-tonne genetically modified cats is likely to ease the fears of environmental protestors, while also reducing the cost to a whisker under 20 billion RMB.

The first cat, nicknamed Chairman Miao, is likely to begin operation in 2011.


©上海杭州大猫磁浮交通发展有限公司 (image copyright Shanghai-Hangzhou Large Feline Maglev Transportation Development Co., Ltd.)

Dan Wasburnt, 108, the playboy owner of popular Shanghai satirical blog Shangzilla awoke on Saturday morning with a terrible hangover after a heavy night at Bar Rouge. After enjoying one too many champagne cocktails, the thought of penning a long, serious article was too much to handle so Wasburnt decided to go with the old standby of tasteful nudity.



"She's, like, famous or something. Maybe she has an aunt from Shanghai" reasoned Wasburnt.

The US Consulate in Shanghai has announced that Chinese nationals wishing to apply for a US visa must now jump through a series of real metal hoops.

Consular officer Brad Fitzpatrick explained: "It has long been the case that applying for a visa to the United States requires jumping through numerous hoops: paying a fee, providing fingerprints, providing proof of employment. Financial documents, health documents, character checks...".

"We have decided to formalise this process by using a series of 24 inch stainless steel hoops.
Applicants will have to jump through the flaming hoops placed 3 feet above the ground. We are sure this will not make the application process any more arbitrary than it is at present."

After numerous reports of UFOs spotted in the Shanghai skies, today Shangzilla started to receive reports about strange looking alien creatures walking among pedestrians in the busiest streets of the city. They unsuccessfully try to disguise themselves as humans, but do not be fooled by anyone looking like a person with an eye-ball-head.

Be vigilant and do not come in contact with the creatures. After all their intentions are still unknown to us.

A giant 392ft (120m) head of popular Shanghai blogger Wang Jian Shuo will top off the newest addition to the Shanghai skyline, according to plans announced on Friday.

"Wang Jian Shuo is single handedly responsible for helping out many Shanghai residents and visitors", announced Shanghai deputy assistant vice mayor Da Jinmao, "helping them find a job, book a hotel and get around the city. We thought it was about time the city paid him back, by building an enormous column in Pudong.



LED displays mounted on each of Wang Jian Shuo's eyebrows will broadcast his latest blog postings to any birds who happen to be flying past.

Comments on Wang Jian Shuo's blog were generally enthusiastic about the plan. "What a magnificent erection", one commenter proclaimed.

In Shanghai - the inspiration for Matt Groening's Futurama - it's common to see unidentified flying objects in the sky. Shangzilla doesn't normally bother getting out of bed to report these stories. The Shanghai Daily are equally bored, recently reporting "UFOs spotted in Shanghai's night sky again."


When the international media gets hold of it, like in 1999, the story gets blown out of all proportion, until the articles sink deep into the collective subconsciousness of the internet's UFOology websites with their dead links.

So why do we and other representatives of the Shanghai media bother to write about our fellow aliens' forms of transportation? To get us more international readers? No. To sell UFO pictures to the western media for high prices? No.


The sensational aspect for us, that is captured in all three of these pictures, is: Shanghai had a clear sky! Yes, there it is. Our breaking news: believe it or not, it happened in 1942, 1999, and 2007.

Here you find the clear smogless sky, and of course, one of them damn UFOs had to fly right into it, spoiling our beautiful evidence picture.

Exclusive! American resident Archie Tuype pulled a whitey in Shanghai earlier today. This puts "pulling a whitey" incidents 16% up on last month alone, according to official statistics compiled by the Bureau of Laowai Relations.

The incident occurred when Tuype needed to cross the road quickly as he was late for meeting a girl named Lily at the Starbucks on Nanjing Lu.

Eyewitnesses report seeing Archie begin running across the road, when a policeman whistled harshly for him to stop, flailed his arms above his head, beat his chest and began swinging on nearby lamp-post.

Archie "pulled a whitey" by giving the international double-thumbs-up sign and giving a huge cheesy smile - the policeman giggled shyly and waved him past.

BREAKING NEWS There is panic on the city streets this morning! Pictures (see below) are circulating which appear to show a giant monster attacking downtown Shanghai. Alarmed office workers, many of whom are working an extra day today before the Golden Week, quickly spread the startling photos via QQ and email. We recommend staying indoors, though you might want to run down to Lawson to stock up on some of those Pocky biscuits. Shangzilla likes the white chocolate ones. More when we have it.



Are you in the area? Are you affected by the monstrous events? Send us your images from the scene: contact@shangzilla.com

UPDATE 11.23am The Public Security Bureau have dispatched a team to tackle the monster, although the latest images from the scene suggest they may already be too late to save one of Shanghai’s best loved TV towers, the Oriental Pearl TV tower. Jiangjiang writes "OMG OMG OMG i can see the evil glare in its eyes."




UPDATE 2.58pm Calm is returning to the streets: the shocking imagery which led to the red alert earlier has been found to be a clever fake. Emergency response officer Chen Lianyu explained to a packed press conference "Although the images which were circulating this morning appeared highly realistic, after substantial analysis we suspect they may have been created using a soft toy and a plastic souvenir model. Also we've checked the Pearl Tower, and it still seems to be there".

Popular satirical blog Shangzilla will use any old excuse to put women's breasts on the home page, according to editor Dan Wasburnt. "Whether it's Hairong Tiantian (海容天天) getting her assets out for some performance art, a body painting festival in Lhasa, or a a sex expo in Pudong, we've discovered that – to sum it up in three words – sex sells"

Wasburnt added "Of course we'll always have some kind of human interest story to go with it, but we know most of our readers will just head straight for the image slideshow."

This blog would never stoop to such levels.