Phillyzilla | SFzilla | Sampazilla | Seattlezilla | Shangzilla | Torontozilla | DCzilla

You are browsing all 2 articles tagged with 'environment'

July 9, 2008

Chinese authorities have just announced that the soon-to-be-completed Three Gorges Dam is actually just the power source for the next monstrously huge engineering project: the Ten Kilometer Cooler, a giant air conditioner which will cover approximately 80% of Shanghai.

New aircon for Shanghai

Zhu Huobing, Deputy Director for Communications and Coolants, explained that the move is intended to help Shanghai take a firm step toward becoming the new financial center of Asia. "Think about it," he stated, "every major Asian city is ta-ma-de hot in the summer. To be able to turn the temperature down to, say, 25 is a distinct advantage."

The remote control alone will be 240 meters tall and will be featured in the Pudong skyline as part of the new "Control Economic Center".

Some political analysts see an even deeper motive in the overall plan. According to James Fallows, the Shanghai-connected technocrats in the Politiburo are getting tired of the frigid winters and sweltering summers in Beijing. "With the completion of the Cooler, they can make a strong case to just move the whole capital to Shanghai. Maybe then I can get a freaking visa."

January 12, 2008



The city's environment department announced on Saturday that the air pollution index in the city had reached "Silk Cut" level, higher than the previous "Marlboro Lights". The Bureau of Environment Statistics took the unusual step of measuring air pollution via comparisons to cigarette brands after Shanghai's air pollution levels "fell off the scale" of more conventional systems.

Mr Li, the bureau chief, explained: "The elevation of the warning scale to 'Silk Cut' indicates that a ten minute walk in central Puxi now has the same effect on your lungs as smoking a pack of 'Silk Cut' cigarettes. We are confident that the air quality measures we are introducing will prevent us reaching 'Benson and Hedges' levels during 2008.

The tobacco firms could not be reached for comment, though they are thought to be unhappy at the competition in China's emerging market. "After all," commented one industry insider to Shangzilla, "if the Chinese can damage their lungs just by going about their everyday business, why do they need to take up smoking?"