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January 24, 2008
Jiaolong University Press announced that its latest book, "Tom Cruise English", will go on sale nationwide Thursday.
"We thought Crazy English is so popular, and this is just another kind of crazy English!" explained Wang Badan, JUP's marketing head.
Lessons are based on Cruise's past interviews, as well as on the video currently making the rounds on the Internet. The first lesson is entitled "A ha ha ha ha!" covering the basics of Cruise's disturbing laugh. Subsequent lessons, based on the recent interview, teach students valuable oral English like, "You've got the power! And you know it's up to you, because, BAM! A ha ha ha ha!"
When questioned closely, Wang Badan admitted that Jiaolong University is not a real university, much like how Scientology is not a real religion.
"We thought Crazy English is so popular, and this is just another kind of crazy English!" explained Wang Badan, JUP's marketing head.
Lessons are based on Cruise's past interviews, as well as on the video currently making the rounds on the Internet. The first lesson is entitled "A ha ha ha ha!" covering the basics of Cruise's disturbing laugh. Subsequent lessons, based on the recent interview, teach students valuable oral English like, "You've got the power! And you know it's up to you, because, BAM! A ha ha ha ha!"
When questioned closely, Wang Badan admitted that Jiaolong University is not a real university, much like how Scientology is not a real religion.
January 20, 2008
You may have seen the posters for the "English First" language school in taxis and metro stations. Some have laughed at the cheesy images of tutors tied to students with rope, a clumsy metaphor for the one-on-one mentoring that English First tutors promise to provide.
For expatriate Benjamin Watson, it's no laughing matter. Watson was first tied to student Zhang Wenjun in 2005 for a photoshoot. Failing to read the small print of his contract, he didn't realise that he was expected to remain tied to Miss Zhang for the next five years. "It's becoming really inconvenient" said Watson, "our arms are tied together at all times, which makes eating difficult. My tennis has really gone downhill in the last few years".
Zhang is also having second thoughts about the arrangement. "While my English has got better and better, my boyfriend is not happy about me being tied to Mr Watson all the time".
Shangzilla attempted to call the English First hotline to get the official company line, but all their operators were tied up.
For expatriate Benjamin Watson, it's no laughing matter. Watson was first tied to student Zhang Wenjun in 2005 for a photoshoot. Failing to read the small print of his contract, he didn't realise that he was expected to remain tied to Miss Zhang for the next five years. "It's becoming really inconvenient" said Watson, "our arms are tied together at all times, which makes eating difficult. My tennis has really gone downhill in the last few years".
Zhang is also having second thoughts about the arrangement. "While my English has got better and better, my boyfriend is not happy about me being tied to Mr Watson all the time".
Shangzilla attempted to call the English First hotline to get the official company line, but all their operators were tied up.
December 14, 2007
Shanghai mother-of-one Mrs Fang was shocked to hear her son use a colorful English phrase at breakfast on Tuesday. "When I told Xiao Fang to brush his teeth before going to school, he shouted a dirty word at me! I couldn't imagine where he could have learnt that word, the little f-cker."
A recent report by the Shanghai Culture and Ethics Committee turned the spotlight on a number of popular English clubs which have been reportedly been teaching their students to curse. The "Walk Da Talk Da Walk" television show, a regular staple of the advertising screens in metro stations, used language including "mingebuckets" and "Boutros Boutros-Ghali" in a recent episode.
Demi-god and electronic dictionary salesman Da Shan was also rapped in the report after using the phrase "fo shizzle ma nizzle" on CCTV earlier this year. Word.
A recent report by the Shanghai Culture and Ethics Committee turned the spotlight on a number of popular English clubs which have been reportedly been teaching their students to curse. The "Walk Da Talk Da Walk" television show, a regular staple of the advertising screens in metro stations, used language including "mingebuckets" and "Boutros Boutros-Ghali" in a recent episode.
Demi-god and electronic dictionary salesman Da Shan was also rapped in the report after using the phrase "fo shizzle ma nizzle" on CCTV earlier this year. Word.
September 16, 2007
Ding Lijun, a third-grade student at Honglingjin No. 1 School in Yangpu district, has promised his parents that his homework will be ready "in time for the 2010 World Expo".
Much like 13 new metro lines, redevelopment of Shanghai's satellite cities, a new high-speed maglev line, a city-wide wireless network, English training for all city educators, 14 new museums, cleanup of polluted waterways and a city-wide wireless network.
Ding was told to go to his room.
Much like 13 new metro lines, redevelopment of Shanghai's satellite cities, a new high-speed maglev line, a city-wide wireless network, English training for all city educators, 14 new museums, cleanup of polluted waterways and a city-wide wireless network.
Ding was told to go to his room.