Jiaolong University Press announced that its latest book, "Tom Cruise English", will go on sale nationwide Thursday.

"We thought Crazy English is so popular, and this is just another kind of crazy English!" explained Wang Badan, JUP's marketing head.

Lessons are based on Cruise's past interviews, as well as on the video currently making the rounds on the Internet. The first lesson is entitled "A ha ha ha ha!" covering the basics of Cruise's disturbing laugh. Subsequent lessons, based on the recent interview, teach students valuable oral English like, "You've got the power! And you know it's up to you, because, BAM! A ha ha ha ha!"

When questioned closely, Wang Badan admitted that Jiaolong University is not a real university, much like how Scientology is not a real religion.